Lessons From Death: Grief
Even now, those words make me nauseous. Papaw was right next to me the moment he passed. He simply did not breathe back in, and those words cut through my heart like a hot knife.That moment was one of disbelief. As much as you prepare yourself to lose someone, there simply is no way to every be ready. Every part of me felt numb like time had just stopped. Deep inside I was hoping the nurse was wrong or he would suddenly gasp for air, as selfish as that was. My love and affection for that man ran deeper than I even knew, and the thought of his presence no longer being in my life was utterly devastating.
The entire experience was surreal, and absolutely nothing like what Hollywood portrays. Everyone responds differently. The one thing I remember though is the deep empty pit of sorrow in my heart. So deep that it was planted into my stomach, and made me feel so sick. Nauseous, faint, and in disbelief that he was actually gone. I was truly heartbroken. A part of me felt torn from my life, and I was left with a big, empty hole.
As I sat there staring at my passed grandfather, tears welling up as the nurses started taking off his oxygen and making phone calls the Lord said, "now you know how I feel when you walk away from me." Woah. It literally caught my breath. Those moments we wander, that is how He feels. He grieves the lack of our presence like the death of a loved one. He loves us that much that it torments him to be without us for even a moment.
It is difficult to fathom that kind of love, yet equally impossible to imagine going without it. God has that level of love for each and every one of us. He is not human in that he can only invest so much into one person and carefully must spread himself out. No! He is omnipresent, in all places, with all people, at all times. It does not makes sense to us simply because we cannot do it ourselves. Believing is what reveals His presence in your life and heart. If your do not know this love, seek it out. It will change your life to be perused how you have always wanted to be. I have never met a person who does not desire to be 'in love.' The love of Christ is the most perfect of all. All you have to do is believe. There is no fine print.
"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9
Lessons from Death: God's Love
My grandfather had battled lung cancer for three years. After chain smoking since he was 12 years old, it was not a surprise to any of us. What was surprising was how long this man held on. In March of 2013, his doctors told us he had a few weeks to a few months.We were devastated, and I even pushed the university I graduated from to allow me to walk a semester early so he could be there.